Campbell | six months

Adventures in your sixth month:

-We visited the Dixon for photos

-You started eating lots of baby food!

-You roll over

-You can sit up with help

-You've napped without your dockatot 

-We visited Daddy downtown for food trucks in the park 

-You celebrated your first Easter!

-We went to IKEA with Honey

My sweet boy, 

You are six months old today.  Half of a whole year!  These months have flown by and everyday gets more fun with you.  This has probably been my most favorite month so far.  Your personality is really starting to shine and it's hilarious and sweet getting a taste of the little boy you are becoming.  You have such a loud, vibrant personality.  You have this happy scream that I hear the majority of the day.  You laugh and smile constantly and you're generally the happiest boy!  You don't love being tired and that's usually when you cry.  And when you cry... there are not levels.  There's just full on MELTDOWN.  You feel things deeply, both happy and sad.  Your emotions are big and I cannot wait to see how that makes you into the sweetest boy as you live life fully.  You're still on the smaller side as you fit into 0-3 month and 3 month pants.  Your pajamas are still mostly 3 month, but you're in 3-6 month too.  I need to get you a few more 6 month pair so we can start to wear those!  You've definitely put on some weight since you've started eating more and you LOVE to eat!  So far you've tried squash, pears, sweet potatoes, apples, avocado, banana, peas, and green beans.  You don't love peas and you're still a little iffy on green beans but we'll keep trying!  You've started reaching for the spoon and love trying to feed yourself.  On the eve of your six month birthday we started trying some baby led weaning and you had some sweet potato chunks.  You picked them up, squished them in your hands, and even brought them to your mouth a few times!  I think you'll love it when you realize exactly what it is.  :)  Overall you're still a great sleeper for us.  You've been waking up early for some reason but you just talk in your bed so sweetly and usually end up going back to sleep for a little while before our day starts at 7.  Mama is adamant that we aren't starting our day before 7 so you figure out this waking up early thing, bud!! You've started to notice your sister a little more and it's so fun when you look at each other and talk.  I can't wait for you two to be friends! Your laugh is my favorite and I love it when you crinkle your nose when you really get tickled.  If we're in a bind and you're fussy I can always turn on Frozen and you immediately stop crying.  I think you're going to LOVE musicals as you get older!  Music always seems to make you happy... especially when we sing the wheels on the bus!  For a few months you wouldn't nap on us and only wanted your bed.  But this month you've been so much more snuggly and you've even taken a few naps on us!  The best ever.  I can't believe that you've been here six whole months.  You've changed me, sweet boy, and I'll never be the same.  I'm forever your mama and you're forever my Campy boy. 

I love you so,

Mama 

Crawford | three months

Adventures in your third month:

-had your two month check-up

-Honey stayed with you so Mama and Daddy could celebrate their anniversary

-Celebrated Honey's 50th Birthday 

-Had several fun days with friends!

-Took photos at the Dixon

-Starting sitting in your sit me up floor seat

Crawford girl, 

You are getting so big and so sweet!  I just love learning more about you every single day.  I love having Mama + Crawford time and I know it'll only get more precious.  We started out this month at the doctor for your two month check-up and shots.  You weighed about 10 pounds and did so good for shots.  You only cried for just a second!  A few days later your Honey came and stayed with you and your brother so your Daddy and I could go on an overnight date.  It was our first night away from each other but you did great!  You started sleeping through the night this month and you really are a great sleeper.  We swaddle you up and you're straight to sleep!  You still love your paci and you ALWAYS want to be snuggling something.  Your lovie is your favorite thing and you love having a blanket over your face when you're sleepy.  If you're fussy I can throw a swaddle over you and you immediately calm down.  I love that you're such a snuggly girl!  You're smiling more and more and I love seeing that sweet spirit of yours come out.  You're still so tiny and wearing mostly newborn clothes but moving up to 0-3 month sleepers.  Dressing you is so, so much fun!  We are just having the sweetest time learning about you, sweet girl, and I can't wait to keep watching you grow.  You're my favorite girl.  

Love you big, 

Mama 

Campbell | five months

Adventures in your fifth month: 

-our sweet adoption worker came for her second and final visit! 

-we went to church for the first time as a family of 4

-we celebrated our Honey turning 50

-Honey spent the night with you while mama and daddy had a night away

-you had your 4 month shots  

-we had a picnic with friends  

-we had a play date with lots of little friends!  

-you stopped sleeping swaddled

-you started eating food!  

My Campbell boy,  

you are five months old! This month it seems like you grew in so many ways. You're now eating baby food and sleeping without a swaddle! Our big, sweet boy. So many milestones! We went to the Dixon Gardens with your aunt Meg and Teddie to take some photos and you're one photogenic boy!  I rarely take photos with my "big camera" but I sure am glad that it's so easy to snap photos of you constantly with my iphone.  You won't lack photos, sweet boy! Ha! This was a big month for you!  At the beginning of March you had your four month check-up and sister had her two month check-up.  You both got shots and you sympathy cried for Crawford.  You're such a sweet brother!  You were around 13 pounds and I know you've grown so much since them!  A few days after your shots your Honey came and stayed with you and your sister so Mama and Daddy could have a night away to celebrate 4 years of marriage.  You always have the best time with your Honey and this was no exception. :) This month you started eating baby food and it's been our most fun adventure.  You've had squash, pears, and sweet potatoes!  Mama has been making all of your food and it's been so much fun.  Yes, it takes a little bit of time and planning but it's so fun that I get to do this for you!  Plus it's easy on our budget so that's always a plus, too. You've done so well learning how to eat off the spoon and so far you've loved everything you've tasted!  You're still sleeping great and this month we stopped swaddling you.  Mama was so nervous that you wouldn't sleep that first night but you didn't make a peep all night long!  Your personality continues to come out and you get more and more fun each month. This month you did your first "art project" and "painted" an abstract picture during tummy time!  We might have a little artist on our hands.  You're in a size 2 diaper and still in a lot of 0-3 month or 3 month pants.  Your 3 month pajamas still fit great and your 3-6 month jams are a little roomy.  You might be getting bigger, but you're still Mama's tiny boy. :)  We love you so much and watching you grow is the very best thing.  
 

I love you so, 

Mama

Crawford | two months

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Adventures in your second month:

-You went to the zoo for the first time

-We went to church for the first time as a family of four

-You celebrated your first Valentine's Day with a date to Chick-fil-a

-You went to your friend Cooper's birthday party

-You started smiling on purpose!

-You started "talking" to us a little bit 

Crawford girl, 

I can't believe you are two months old!  This month you've changed so much and your little personality is coming out more and more and I just can't get enough of you.  I'm guessing you're right around 10 pounds, but we'll go to the doctor tomorrow to find out at your two month (and brother's four month!) checkup.  You've moved up to size 1 diapers even though they are a little bit roomy!  Your newborn sleepers are starting to get a little tight but you're still too small to fit into your 0-3 month sleepers.  It looks like we'll be wearing some loose clothes for a few weeks! You are eating four ounces every 3 hours and you aren't as slow of an eater as you used to be.  You're staying awake in feedings and drinking every drop!  You're giving your mama and daddy some rest at night by sleeping from 8:15-4ish and it's been heavenly!  I think you'll be sleeping until 6-7 soon and that's mama's ultimate goal!  You sleep swaddled at night but you're not loving that for naps during the day.  You usually take a nap in your bed, but a lot of times you like to nap in your mamaroo or in your dockatot right next to me.  One thing is for sure... you like to be close to your mama!  We've learned that you are the cuddle queen.  You LOVE to hold your lovie all day long and you want to have a blanket right next to your face when you sleep.  I let you get all cozy when you nap next to me and I love to watch you snuggle!  You are such a gentle, sweet little girl and I love seeing your feminine qualities come out.  You wreck my heart, Crawford girl.  You still really enjoy taking a warm bath with your mama but you're not a fan of getting out of the bath and being cold!  You have the biggest pout when you're crying and, I'm sorry sweet girl, but it makes me laugh almost every time!  I promise I don't laugh when you're really hurting... only when you're being dramatic.  :)  I think my most favorite time of day with you is right after we put your brother down for the night we get a few more minutes of cuddles with you.  That's when you really start talking to your daddy and you give us some sweet smiles.  You smile more and more everyday and I love it when you get happy and excited!  It is so much fun to watch you learn and grow.  You've done some fun things this month like visit the zoo and attend church for the first time and you've done great with every single outing!  The fact that you LOVE your paci helps... I can pop it right in anytime you get upset!  You are such a sweet, dainty girl and I love being your mama.  CG, you're the sweetest addition to our family and I can't imagine life without you!

Love you big, 

Mama

A Day in the Life | vol.1

I've been a mama for all of four months and I already feel like I'm forgetting things.  Forgetting what tiny four pound Campbell felt like in my arms.  Forgetting how many times he got up at night.  Forgetting what it felt like to be huge and pregnant holding a baby on top.  Forgetting what it was like those last moments Crawford was in my belly.  Forgetting what those first snuggles with my girl felt like.  There are so many tiny moments that sometimes seem unimportant.  In the moment it's hard to even fathom forgetting what some things are like... because sometimes it feels like it'll never end.  These mundane days can sometimes seem like they aren't important and everyday can feel the same.  But every single day is different.  Every single day these babies grow up.  Every single day they learn something new, notice something for the first time.  Every single day these babies are growing up right in front of my face and sometimes... sometimes I can forget.  I can forget that these days are all I have.  I can't go back.  I can't go back to tiny Campbell in his hospital room, holding my first baby for the first time.  I can't go back and hear Crawford cry for the first time.  There's no going back, only going forward.  And life is too short for me to miss it.  Life is too short for me to worry about how clean my house is or how different my postpartum body is. Life is too short for me to waste these days thinking that there will always be more.  I have this one day.  This one day when these babes are the exact age that they are.  ONE DAY.  Maybe this seems like I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself, but really... this is freeing.  I have today.  Right now.  Tomorrow, I'll worry about tomorrow.  Today... I can live life loving my babies.  Doing what I can with the time I have.  And I have 24 hours.  And then tomorrow... we start again.  Life is too short for me to not live fully in each 24 hour period the Lord gives me.  

I want to remember these days.  I want to be able to look back and see my messy hair and pajama clad postpartum body.  I want to look back and see how tiny my babies are in my unmade bed.  I want to see our real, grainy, messy, honest life.  Because these are 24 hours that I'll just never get back again. 

brief outline of our day at the bottom at this post.

3:58 Crawford wakes up, I feed her and put her back to bed

5:55 My alarm goes off, but I end up laying in bed until 6:15.  I get up, fix coffee, and sit down for my quiet time

6:30 I hear Campbell wake up, but I leave him talking in his bed while I read

7:00 Get Camp up, he sees Ty before he leaves for work, and gets his first bottle

7:30 We snuggle after he eats and watch the end of a fixer upper episode I fell asleep in the night before

8:00 Crawford gets up, she eats, Campbell plays on the floor while we listen to a podcast

8:15 Campbell gets fussy and we cuddle before he goes down for a nap.  

8:30 I take Campbell to his room for a nap. He falls asleep while I hold him before putting him down in his crib.  This never happens!

8:30-9:00 Crawford plays on the floor, I fix breakfast

9:00 Crawford and I snuggle in bed while I have breakfast and we watch The Bachelor

9:45 Crawford lays down in her dockatot and I jump in the shower

10:00 Camp wakes up but I make him stay in bed until I finish drying my hair.

10:30 Camp eats and we sit next to a fussy Crawford in bed and listen to All Sons and Daughters

11:00 Campbell plays on the bed while Crawford eats

11:30 Campbell starts to get restless, we read a few books

11:45 Campbell is fussy, we play and sing and hold out on nap as long as possible

12:00 Campbell goes down for a nap, I get Crawford in her dockatot in bed for a nap so I can get a little bit of work done for House of Hope

1:00 Crawford is restless in bed (she doesn't sleep well for naps) so I bring her out in her dockatot to sleep next to me while I have lunch

2:00 They both wake up and eat and then they play on the floor while I do a little laundry

3:30 Campbell goes back down for another nap and I wash bottles and straighten the house

5:00 Campbell and Crawford are both up to eat

5:30 Tyler gets home, we play, eat leftovers around 6:15 and keep the babies occupied until we prep for bath at 7:15

7:15 we start bath routine.  Campbell gets in the bath with me, then Crawford, then they eat

8:15-8:30 both babes go to bed and mama and daddy get some time to themselves! 

 

 

 

 

Campbell | four months

Adventures in your fourth month:

-You stayed with two friends while Mama and sister went to a few doctor's appointments

-you really found your voice and learned how to scream just for fun!

-you started to get a lot more confident in tummy time and you can lay on your tummy for a long time without your head bobbing everywhere!

-You stayed in the church nursery for the first time 

-You really started to love a favorite toy and want to hold your lovie all the time

-the Magic School Bus theme song makes you smile and laugh!

-You celebrated your first Valentine's Day!

-you went to your first birthday party- your friend Cooper turned one!

-You went to the zoo for the first time with friends!

My sweet Campbell,

You grow bigger every single day!  I can't believe all the new things you do and discover every day.  It is so much fun to see you growing and learning new things, but it also feels like my tiny baby slips away with each new milestone and I just want to keep you my itty bitty boy for the rest of time.  We haven't been to the doctor yet, but I'm thinking you're somewhere between 13-15 pounds.  We moved up to size 2 diapers this month and you're still in a lot of 0-3 month clothes which makes my heart happy.  :)  Your 3 month sleepers are starting to fit a lot better and aren't as roomy in the feet, but I think you'll be in your 0-3 month pants for a while!  This month I put you in your first t-shirt and my mama heart melted.  You looked like such a big, sweet boy! You smile and laugh all the time now and it's so fun to watch you get excited.  I especially love when your daddy comes home at the end of the day!  You love when he talks and plays with you.  You really love your bedtime feeding with him because he's always silly and making you giggle. :) This month you went to church for the first time since Crawford was born!  Your daddy took you and you stayed in the nursery.  Your Aunt Meg kept you for your first day in the nursery! Our other big adventure for the month was going to the zoo!  You did such a great job and loved looking around at everything.  You're definitely my observant boy! You've gotten so good at tummy time and I think you'll be rolling over soon!  You always have your colorful "winkle" toy with you and you grab onto your puppy lovie whenever you're awake.  It is so sweet seeing you start to have preferences!  You still LOVE to take baths with your mama, you drink every drop of each bottle, and you love your sleep.  You've started talking to yourself before you go to sleep and you wake up happy and talking most mornings!  You are the sweetest boy and everyday with you is a joy.  I'm so thankful to be your mama.  

I love you so, 

Mama 

Crawford | one month

Adventures in your first month:

-it snowed when you were one day old!  

-you visited the pediatrician for the first time at 2 weeks old

-you went to the hospital for some tests (all is well!) 

-you went on your first walk! 

-Katie Norrid took your photos and you were adorable!  

 

Crawford Elaine, you are one month old! In a lot of ways it seems like you've been here so much longer. I can't really fathom the fact that you used to be in my belly. We really love having you on "this side", sweet girl. You are probably around 8-9 pounds and fitting in little newborn onesies so sweetly. Your sleepers are still a little roomy but you get bigger everyday! You have light hair on top and dark hair in back and I can't wait to see how it grows! You still have the prettiest blue eyes and you have eyelashes that are to die for! We've joked since the day you were born that you're our "delicate" girl. You like some things a certain way and you'll let us know anytime you're not happy. You poke that bottom lip out when you cry and I know your daddy is going to be in trouble one day. :) You are our snuggly girl and there's no where you would rather be than laying on my chest. You took a bath with me for the first time this month and we were nervous to see what you would do but you absolutely loved it! The second you hit the warm water you always instantly calm down. You even slept through an entire bath once! You have given us tiny grins the past couple of days and it makes my heart so happy thinking about the day you start smiling all the time! Your brother started to notice you and it'll be so sweet to see you become friends. He "kisses" you goodnight every night and I know you'll just love him so much! We all love you, Crawford girl. You make our lives so much sweeter... and just a little bit more dramatic. :) 

I love you big,

Mama

Crawford | birth story

One month ago today our Crawford girl was born and I've spent a month trying to wrap my mind around all that happened. Her birth happened in a blur and was 100% different than the experience I desired. For years I've desired a natural, drug-free birth. There's just something about experiencing every bit of that pain that was important to me. I've been reading and researching for YEARS about how to prepare and plan for this kind of birth. Once we found out we were pregnant with Crawford I was so excited that I would actually get to have this experience! I quickly ordered a few books from amazon to help prepare. But now I have a scar on my belly to always remind me of the emergency C-section that brought our sweet girl into the world. I don't have professional photos or even a photo of the first time I saw her... or held her.  I hardly have any photos of friends or family meeting her for the first time.  She came in a blur and there's so much I wish that I could do over.  But this is her story.  Her perfect story the Lord has written for the first moments of her life and no matter the circumstances surrounding her birth... we are so so glad she's here.  We love our Crawford girl so!

My last 10 weeks of pregnancy were hard. About the time we got Campbell I started to swell. At first it was just a tight feeling in my feet but within a few weeks you could really see it in my feet and by December 1st I was swollen literally everywhere. There wasn't a part of my body not holding fluid. By the second week of December I had almost no mobility in my legs. I was miserable and I hated it. I hated that I was wishing the days away and not able to fully enjoy my last few weeks with Campbell. By the end of December I was really concerned about my swelling and felt like it wasn't normal. My blood pressure had been on the high side of normal, but it wasn't anything that really concerned my doctor yet, so he just told me to keep an eye on my swelling and blood pressure. On January 3rd I had my 38 week appointment. Campbell and I got to see Crawford on the ultrasound which was extra sweet since we hadn't seen her since 20 weeks. Again, my doctor just said to keep an eye on my swelling and blood pressure and sent us on our way. About 5pm that evening I started to feel really bad. My back was hurting, I had a terrible headache, and overall just felt like something wasn't right. After calling a nurse friend of my mom's we decided to go ahead and go to the hospital just to be safe. Tyler gave Campbell a bath and put him to bed and my mom came over to stay. Once we arrived at the hospital they quickly hooked me up to monitors and started running some labs. My blood pressure was high, but it continued to fluctuate so they ultimately decided to send me home and they planned a follow up appointment with my doctor for Thursday. We left the hospital around midnight and I tried to rest as much as possible. 

 

Campbell and I had a lazy morning and I missed a call from my doctor while we were napping. He wanted to know how my symptoms were, so I called his nurse back and told her I still felt the same as I did the night before. His nurse called later that afternoon and said that he was concerned and wanted me to go ahead and come back in. I snuggled Campbell so tight because I just knew I probably wouldn't come back home until after she was born. It felt so bittersweet to say goodbye to our time with him as our only babe. I'm so glad I snapped a photo of us. I always remember that moment! I dropped Campbell off at Megan's house and drove myself to the hospital. 

 

By the time I got to the hospital I could tell my blood pressure was really high because of the way I was feeling. They quickly got me back and as soon as my doctor saw my blood pressure they put me in a wheelchair to take me from the physicians building to labor and delivery to be monitored before they started induction the next morning.  With the way I was swelling and with my blood pressure always being borderline, I wasn't surprised that I had preeclampsia in the end, but I am SO grateful that I was at 38 weeks and not before.  I am so thankful our girl was just about done growing and that we were both healthy!

Tyler arrived at the hospital from work about that time and we ultimately made the decision for him to go spend a few hours at home with Campbell.  So as I was getting all set up in my room he went home to spend some time with Campbell and do a few things around the house.  I'm so glad that he was able to spend that time with Campbell and put him to bed one last time before we brought a sister home for him!

 

I spent several hours alone at the hospital and looking back it was a sweet time I'm really grateful for.  I turned on some worship music and listened to her heartbeat and just enjoyed some quiet.  My mom and sister came to sit with me for a little bit and I was so thankful to spend some time with them too!  Tyler arrived later that night and the nurse got me started on some meds that were supposed to help get me ready to be induced. (That's all I'll say because thinking about the medical terms being on my blog make me cringe! Ha!) They made me contract all night long (unfortunately I still didn't make any progress) and poor Tyler had a long night with me.  I was basically immobile because of the swelling in my legs so anytime I had to move the slightest or get out of bed he would physically have to move me.  It was a really sweet night of relying on him and being encouraged by him. 

 

Crawford's heart rate kept dropping so they would constantly have to change my position in order to get her heart rate back up.  This happened for several hours and ultimately pushed back my induction because her heart rate wouldn't stay up.  My doctor arrived later that morning and made the ultimate decision to go ahead and get my epidural, break my water, and see if I would progress any without pitocin.  My blood was so diluted from all the extra fluid that my platelets were low so there was a question of if I could even get the epidural.  In the end we made the decision to go ahead with it and I am so grateful that we did knowing the end result.  Since I ended up in an emergency c-section situation I was able to be awake since I had the epidural instead of being totally put under.  I can look back and see so many little moments the Lord completely took care of us and I'm so thankful for His provision.

Almost immediately after getting the epidural my doctor came in to break my water and within minutes I could hear her heart rate almost come to a stop on the monitor.  I remember telling Tyler that it didn't sound good and within seconds several nurses were in our room and the doctor came in to say we were heading to the operating room.  Within a few seconds our room was filled with several nurses prepping me and the anesthesiologist trying to explain to Tyler and I what was about to happen.  They quickly got me into the operating room and Tyler stood on one side and the anesthesiologist on the other.  She was truly such an encouragement from the Lord because Tyler was upset at this point and I was a little out of it, but nervous about what was happening.  As they both stood on either side, I heard her tell me that there was about to be a lot of pressure and a few seconds later on Thursday January 5, 2017 at 10:32 AM (fun fact- Campbell was born at 10:32 PM!) we heard her cry for the very first time.  Tyler and I just sobbed as we listened to her and soon, saw her from around the curtain.  They took her to be cleaned up and Tyler was able to hold her as they wrapped up my surgery.  I shook terribly for probably about an hour afterwards and I didn't hold her for the longest.  Those first hours of her life are a blur for me, but I'm so grateful Tyler had some time with her.  My doctor wanted to keep me in L&D for a while to monitor me so it wasn't until much later that night when we finally made it to a room.  Our families had already arrived (It was so sweet for me to see photos of Campbell hanging out while we waited for Crawford to arrive! I have more photos of him than I do of her! Ha!) so we let them come back in small groups to see her.  Since I hadn't really spent any time with her yet we didn't let anyone hold her and Tyler just propped her up in my arms for people to see as they came in.  Of course we were so so ready to see our sweet Campbell so he was the first one back to meet his sister!

 

It was sweet to share our girl for the first time and to finally be a family of four.  I'll never forget those first moments!  I started to finally come around a little bit and they took us up to our room. My mom and sister left shortly so Campbell could get to bed and we had our first night with our girl.  I'm so thankful for all the sweet staff that took such amazing care of us! Tyler was the real MVP when it came to taking care of his girls.  I still couldn't move without help thanks to my swelling and incision And Tyler changed every diaper and did many feedings so that i could just snuggle our girl when I held her.  He was constantly encouraging me and telling me what a great job I was doing.  He held my hand as we walked the halls and I built up my strength and I am just so grateful for him and our marriage.  My love grew for him in those few days!

 

We randomly got a "big" snow for our area of the county and no one could visit us the next day!  Ha!  We had a really chill day of just snuggling with our girl and watching it snow.  We even got some photos and videos of Campbell experiencing the snow for the first time! It was really hard to be away from him for three nights but one thing is for sure... he was loved on by so many people! Later that night a couple of friends ventured out to come see us and it was sweet to share our girl. 

Saturday we got the all clear to go home so Campbell came to see us as we were getting discharged and they had their first photo together!  Getting to come home with our girl seemed like such a dream come true.  We were finally a family of four and I could not have been more grateful.

Crawford's birth story is something to Lord is using in my life to sancitfy me and teach me more about surrender. The story of her birth is 100% different than what I expected or what I desired. But the Lord is using the circumstances surrounding her birth to remind me that my life should be lived in surrender to Him. My desires, my dreams, my plans... I need to hold those with open palms. I can't live my life with a death grip on my plans because as I've learned... His plans are always, always better. Even if "better" just means sanctification and an opportunity to lean into Him through my disappointment. In the midst of the disappointment and hurt I have been incredibly grateful and humbled. The Lord so graciously allowed me to grow our girl and that is something I'll never stop praising Him for. It was a gift He never had to give, but He chose to in His sovereignty. As my friend Katie says, He is only ever good. Thank you Jesus for the gift of our Crawford girl! Whether you're a Mama or not, whether you've experienced birth or not, I hope that you can be encouraged to seek Jesus in your disappointment and to keep your palms open as you take your plans and dreams before Him. We can trust Him with every single desire and dream of our heart knowing that every single thing He does is for our good and sanctification. As my friend Katie says, He is only ever good. 

Campbell | three months

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Adventures in month three: 

-you celebrated your first Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and New Year!  

-Jamie, Adam, and Shep came to visit you! 

-you started smiling and "talking" up a storm  

-you started to sleep through the night  

-you can hold your head up for a long time in tummy time!  

-you discovered your fist and hold your left hand in the air all day

-your Mama and Daddy spent 3 nights away from you when sister was born and your Honey stayed with you!  

-you became a big brother! 

 

My Campbell boy, 

This has been my favorite month so far (I have a feeling I'll probably say this every month!) and you are just a JOY. Some days I miss your tiny little 4 pound self but most days I just love the routine we've created. I love that we both know your schedule and what makes you happy. I feel like we're finally starting to figure you out... and I know soon there will be even more things to learn. :) Being your parents keeps us on our toes, little boy! We celebrated your first Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and it was so so fun. You got so many sweet gifts and it was so special to have you be there for all our family traditions. Christmas morning we opened a few gifts and then we celebrated at church with our faith family!! You'll come to love these people so dearly. They will be just like family to you and I love that! We celebrated the new year and just a few days later celebrated you becoming a big brother! Crawford was born and joined in on all our fun. You did an amazing job staying with your Honey for a few days and you were such an easy baby when you came to visit us at the hospital! You've kept with your routine since Crawford has been born and you've helped make this transition so much easier than anticipated. Your mama still cries sometimes because it's hard learning how to love and care for two babies at once, but your sweet smile and constant baby talk brings such joy to our days! You still love to take a bath with your mama and you talk up a storm when your daddy comes home from work each night! You discovered your fist recently and you hold it high in the air 90% of the day. You look like a tiny fighter! Ha! You have the most expressive eyebrows and "talk" to us ALL day long!  Your smile and conversations sure do make my days extra sweet! You weigh about 10-11 pounds and REALLY grew this month. You are in mostly 0-3 month clothes and 3 month outfits are just a tiny bit loose! This month you had your two month shots (a little late!) and you were SUCH a sad boy after and it broke our hearts. We don't like to see you feeling crummy! Your little personality has grown so much this month and it makes me think of your First Mama often. Are you like her? Did she talk like crazy when she was a baby? We sure do love your First Mama and we are so grateful she gave us the most amazing gift... you. We pray each night that you would come to know Jesus as a little boy and I pray that the Lord would use your unique story to always remind you of His great love. We sure do love you, Campy! 

I love you so, 

Mama

Campbell | birth story

 

Our sweet Campbell Elias Cole.  Our first baby, our son, the tiny human who made us Mama and Daddy.  His story is one that will forever speak to the sovereignty of God and I cannot wait until the day we can tell our precious boy all about how God brought him into our family.  I obviously will leave a lot of details out here just for the sake of privacy and our son’s story being just that… his.  We want to always be protective of him and his unique story as we honor him and his first mama in what we choose to share with others.

His story of joining our family starts before we ever even heard about his case.  His story of joining our family starts with the brokenness and heartbreak of a failed match.  I never blogged about it, but the match that we so joyfully celebrated at the beginning of September sadly failed on September 19, 2016.  My birthday.  On September 18, 2016 a precious little boy was born in south Florida.  We eagerly woke up on September 19th, hopped on a plane, and waited not so patiently at our hotel for the word that we could head to the hospital to meet our son, our Crosby Ellis.  Hours passed and we got a call.  Not the call we waited on.  The call that this boy’s first mama was having doubts about placement.  We were told that we would get a final word several hours later, so we waited.  Later that evening our agency worker showed up in a hotel lobby to tell us that we would be returning home without the baby boy we thought was our son.  For the rest of my life I’ll never forget that day.  I can remember almost every single detail of that day.  It was excruciatingly painful.  But that pain, that brokenness, that heartbreak… opened the door wide open to the baby boy that’s now napping in our nursery.

A little backstory on how our adoption process worked:  We worked with Faithful Adoption Consultants (WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH) and so we were open to matching with LOTS of agencies around the country.  We didn’t start the process with just one agency, but we worked instead with a consultant who was able to send us cases from lots of different agencies. (It can be confusing- I hope you’re tracking!) The agency we worked with for our failed match was so gracious to us as we walked through the heartbreak.  About a week after our match failed, I got a call from our agency worker who, since we just had a failed match with them, wanted to present a new case to us.  Tyler and I laid in bed with our worker on speaker as we listened to the details of a new case.  To jump back to how our adoption process worked, we would probably have never been presented with Campbell’s case if it hadn’t been for our failed match, if we hadn’t already been connected with this agency.  Losing the little boy we thought was our Crosby Ellis opened the door to Campbell Elias.  This will never stop blowing my mind.  The Lord was working out every detail perfectly, even in the midst of such great pain and struggle. 

 

We were terrified of saying yes.  Absolutely terrified.  But we put our yes on the table.  The next six weeks were a mix of grief, excitement, anxiety, and fear.  The baby’s gender had been unknown as well as a definite due date.  The expected due date was October 24th, but we were waiting on an ultrasound to confirm.  On October 18, 2016 we found out that the sweet baby on the way was a BOY and that he wasn’t due until the end of November. The news that he wasn’t due for another 6 weeks was hard for us to swallow for several reasons.  One, the wait was incredibly hard as we both feared another failed match.  Thinking about waiting another 6 weeks sounded impossible! Two, with our Crawford being due in the middle of January we knew that they would be VERY close in age. It took several days for me to process these things and really just trust the Lord with the timing of it.  Little did we know… we would be meeting him in less than a week!

the morning we officially said "yes"

the morning we officially said "yes"

 

On October 23, 2016 I got a call from our agency worker as I was picking up groceries at walmart after a photoshoot.  She usually texts me so anytime she calls me I know something is going on.  I picked up on the first ring and she said “so this isn’t a travel call but…” and then proceeded to explain that our birth mama was headed to the hospital to get some things checked out.  Not long later I got the text that our birth mama was in fact in labor and baby boy was coming soon! We quickly started to make arrangements, pack, and get things ready to travel to Texas to meet our boy!  I finally fell asleep around 3am and a few hours later we were up and on the road.  We were both anxious and just ready to finally do this.  We were almost to Texas when we finally received word that he had been born the night before and his stats.  A tiny four pound eleven ounce boy!!!! We both couldn’t believe he was so tiny, but I guess that’s to be expected when you’re five weeks early.

 

We went straight to the hospital upon arriving and I’ll never forget what it felt like to wear his diaper bag on my back and hold Tyler’s hand as we walked into the lobby to wait for the agency worker to come get us.  The same sweet man who had to tell us just 6 weeks earlier that we weren’t going home with the tiny boy we thought was our son.  Honestly, I feared that when he got off the elevator he would be telling us the same thing.  But instead, as he got off the elevator, he said “so do you want to go see him?”

 

The precious nursing staff got us a room set up, one nurse grabbed our camera, and soon after they wheeled in a bassinet where the tiniest boy laid.  I sobbed and sobbed as we saw him for the first time.  This was it.  He made me a mama.  From the second my eyes saw him… he was our son.  It was one of the most powerful moments of my entire life.

 

We were able to stay in that tiny “family room” with him throughout his hospital stay and we are so so grateful for the nurses who loved on us and took such great care of Campbell!  We didn’t expect to be able to stay with him at the hospital so it was such an unexpected joy.  October 25th, 2016 his first mama gave me the greatest gift.  She allowed me to be his mama.  There will never be a day were I’m not insanely grateful for her and how she has impacted our family by allowing us to be Campbell’s Mama and Daddy.  She is brave and strong and someone I will love and honor with my words for the rest of my life.

 

On October 26th we got to leave the hospital and start life with our boy!  We rented a condo to make life a little easier as we waited for all the legal stuff to happen for us to be able to travel home. I’ll always look back on our first days with him and our little Texas condo so fondly!

 

On Halloween we packed up our stuff and headed to the Strader’s house!  Their house was a perfect place for us to stay for a few days as we continued to wait for all the legal stuff to come through that would allow us to travel back to Mississippi.  Being at their house got a little closer to home and also allowed us to be in community for a few days, something we had desperately been missing! 

On the way to their house we stopped at the Magnolia Silos for a feeding and it was so fun to look around for a second, feed our boy, and have a treat!  I cannot wait to go back one day sans newborn!  Ha!

We finally arrived at the Strader’s house and the boys got into their Halloween costumes!  Charlie Brown and the Great Pumpkin. :) As soon as we were matched at the beginning of September with Crosby (we will always refer to him as that in our family!) I started thinking about Halloween costumes and we quickly settled on a family theme of Charlie Brown!  I would be Lucy, Tyler would be Linus, and Crosby would be Charlie Brown.  I ordered a tiny Charlie Brown onesie and it came in the day before Crosby was born.  When we were in Florida after we received the call that his birth mom was wavering on her decision and our sweet worker encouraged us to get out and do ANYTHING to keep busy and not just wait in a hotel room.  We ventured out to the mall, holding hands the entire time, desperate to keep it together.  I had been looking for a tiny Snoopy for Crosby to have with his costume and we went into the Hallmark store and found the perfect tiny Snoopy!  We bought it with hope of bringing Crosby home.  After our failed match, that was something that hurt tremendously.  It seems like something as trivial as Halloween wouldn’t hurt that much, but it caused me so much grief to get home and put away that tiny Charlie Brown onesie and Snoopy doll.  And then… we get the call on October 23rd that our Campbell was coming.  We got the onesie and Snoopy out of the storage box and packed it in our bag.  Being able to put Campbell in that onesie with a little Snoopy nearby was such an unnecessary but sweet gift from the Lord.  It reminded me of Crosby and gave me so much joy for the story the Lord was writing.  This will always be such a precious part of our story to me.

 

After a few days with the Straders, we were ready to travel home!  It went surprisingly well with Campbell sleeping the entire time except when we stopped to feed and change him.  We were greeted home by some of our greatest friends and sweetest family.  You can read all about Campbell’s homecoming here!

 

Our journey to Campbell is one that I will always, always cherish.  He’s our son. The Lord knew that he would be in our family from the beginning of time. His adoption was always "plan A" and the Lord has woven our stories together so beautifully. Adoption is messy and hard and involves loss in lots of ways. But it's also beautiful and sweet and full of the gospel. I can't talk about our adoption without saying a huge thank you to Courtney with Faithful Adoption Consultants and her whole team. Courtney works tirelessly to serve, love, and support adoptive families while also doing the same for birth mamas and their babies. We were always encouraged to love and pray for each birth mom we learned about and with the help of Courtney I feel like we were really able to keep a good perspective and always have so much respect for these first mamas. We are so grateful for Colores Adoptions and Reggie, Lindsay, and Nikki who loved us well through our loss with Crosby and then our match with Campbell. The Lord worked so mightily in those weeks and I'm so grateful for the work that these three have done and are doing for other mamas and families! It's evident they serve and love their birth mamas fiercely and they teach their families to do the same. We are so grateful for the way they will always have a part in our story! Adoption truly takes a village... and I'm so thankful for ours.

Campbell | two months

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Adventures in month two:  

-you celebrated the holiday season!  

-you visited with lots of family and friends 

-you went to church for the first time!  

-we finally figured out how to help your hurting tummy and switched your formula

-you smiled for the first time! 

Campbell, 

Month two was so big for you! We celebrated Thanksgiving at home and it was one of my favorite days! We watched the parade and you saw santa for the first time at the end. Unfortunately that was your only time to see Santa this year, but you'll get to meet him with Crawford next year! We made our yummy turkey again and we are officially the turkey makers from here on out. I can't wait until you're helping us prep in the kitchen in the years to come! We started holiday traditions with you and it just made my heart so full. Life with you is just so much fun! Your poor tummy still gave you some problems so we went to the doctor and eventually switched your formula and life got so much better for you! You got to go to church for the first time which was so so special for us. I've waited a long time to take our baby to church and it was really sweet to celebrate with our church family. I'll never forget standing in the very back with you in your solly wrap and just crying as we sang. The faithfulness of Jesus is just so evident by your life, my sweet son. We got to do so many fun holiday things this month and it was so much fun for you to "meet" some of your friends! You were around 8-9 pounds this month and started to fit into your newborn clothes and your Christmas pajamas we borrowed from Aunt Jamie fit you PERFECTLY and it was so much fun for me! Your Mama had a hard month of pregnancy with your sister, but you made the days so sweet. You even went to a few doctors appointments with me and all the ladies in the office love you! I tried to do some fun things with you so that I would always have memories of you as our only. We went on several dates and you "took me to lunch" and were always so sweet! Maybe one day you won't fall asleep on our dates. :) You worked with me a few days and did so well in your Solly Wrap and I finished up some editing. This month you smiled for the first time while I was out of the house, but your daddy caught it on camera and I'm so glad! Since then you've started smiling more and more and it melts me. Your mama is wrecked by you! This month you took your first "big boy" bath with me and loved it so much. You love being able to stretch out and kick! I can't wait to see what all you get into as you get older. You'll be an active boy for sure! You ended month two right before Christmas and we started to celebrate with all our family. You made the holidays so so sweet for us this year. Each day gets better, sweet boy. 

I love you so, 

Mama

Style | Pinkblush

I won't claim to be the most fashionable mama in the blog world and I'm certainly far from a fashion blogger, but over the next couple of months I would love to do a few posts on how I handled maternity and postpartum fashion!  Today I wanted to highlight a shop I've come to love that recently reached out to me to collaborate!  When it's a shop you love + mama gets a free goodie... you say yes quickly.  :)  I've really come to adore Pinkblush and I can't wait for you to learn about them if you aren't already familiar with their precious shop!

I bought this dress for our family session with Katie Norrid Photography and it is MY FAVORITE THING EVER!  It seriously feels like pajamas and made me feel really pulled together for our session.  My favorite thing about this dress is that I will totally be able to wear it next fall sans bump!  I have mainly worn non-maternity clothes throughout my pregnancy and just made what I had in my closet work, but I've tried to be intentional about the versatility of the few things I've purchased.  I have tried to buy things that will carry my over to right after birth (hello, flowy tops!!!!) and things that I can still wear when my body gets back to some kind of "normal".  

I recently bought this top on sale (they have GREAT sales, so watch their website!  I think I snagged this top for $12 with free shipping!) to wear on the way home from the hospital after we have our Crawford girl and I think it'll be such a great transitional piece for me!

Pinkblush was sweet enough to send me this gorgeous sweater and I am so in love!  It's perfect for my bump and will be so great postpartum as well.  I love that I can wear it with jeans to church, but I could just as easily wear it with leggings and my hair pulled up once I'm home with both babies.  It's my desire to obviously be comfortable for our days at home, but to also try a little so that I don't look scary when Tyler comes home from work everyday. :)  I think this sweater will be perfect this winter! I love that their maternity clothes so easily transition to life after the bump.  I'll be able to wear all three of these items long past pregnancy!

Mamas and non-mamas alike, Pinkblush needs to be on your favorite shops list!  I'm a big fan.  :)  Head over to my instagram to enter a giveaway for a giftcard!

I was sent this sweater in return for my collaboration.  All thoughts are my own!

Campbell | one month

your first month adventures:

-Leaving the hospital and staying in a condo for your first "home" in Texas!

-You visited Magnolia for a feeding break... and you were the main attraction!  Everyone wanted to know stats on the tiny babe! 

-You were Charlie Brown for Halloween and celebrated with your buddy, Beau!

-You stayed with our friends Victoria, Ben, and Beau

-You had a welcome home party with our closest friends and family!

-You stayed awake (allllllll night!) to witness a new president being elected

-You visited our pediatrician for the first time at 2 weeks old

-You had your photos taken by Katie Norrid and I'll always melt over your tininess!
 

Sweet Campbell, 

I'm actually writing this as you inch closer to your three month birthday.  You'll learn your mama gets behind on things like this sometimes. :)  Your first month was one of the sweetest months of my entire life.  You made me a mama and I will forever praise Jesus for the gift of you.  In your first month you were tiny, tiny, tiny.  You wore all preemie clothes but towards the end of the month newborn clothes started to fit you just a little bit.  Your poor tummy couldn't handle the preemie formula you were on and it was a rough month of your daddy and I trying to figure out what might work for you (thankfully all of this was worked out in month two!).  While we were in Texas for almost two weeks your daddy and I got SO MANY SNUGGLES.  While we missed our people at home, it was such a joy for us to have you all to ourselves as we got to know you and figured out how to be a mama and a daddy.  Anytime you cried at night my heart leapt to get up and feed you.  You gave me new purpose that I had never felt before.  Yes, there were nights we were tired but nothing compared to the joy it brought me to take care of your needs.  You were such a tiny snuggle bug and slept most of the day.  You started the month at 4 pounds 11 ounces and you ended it around 7 pounds!  Growing boy!  You let your mama sleep most of the night (even though I really wasn't sleeping... I was too pregnant with your sister!) and had feedings at 10pm, 2am, and then you were up for the day at 6.  You loved music and I loved singing worship songs to you.  You made your daddy and me some of the happiest people in the whole world.  What a sweet first month of parenthood as we learned all about you, Campbell!  You are our sweet boy and Jesus was so gracious to allow us to be your parents.  

I love you so,

Mama 

Our First Family Photo Session

There have been so many moments where my heart has almost burst because I can't believe that we really get to be Campbell's Mama and Daddy.  I dreamed about so many things.  Some things small and silly like dressing him up as Charlie Brown for Halloween and some things more serious like the first time we take him to church.  Seeing some of these things happen... feels like too much.  The Lord is so gracious.  Something I've dreamed about for a long time is the first time that we'll have family photos taken.  A week and a half ago my dream came to life as Katie Norrid BLEW US AWAY with her talent and blessed us with the most amazing photos to celebrate this unique season of our lives.  Here are a few (okay more than a few) of my favorites from our session!  

Thank you, Katie Norrid, for making my mama dreams come true!  

maternity dress/baby beanie

Bringing Home Campbell

These past few weeks the Lord has been so gracious to us.  We have a son.  For a couple of years the Lord has said "wait" on our prayers to become parents.  He's brought us through seasons of doubt and fear and longing.  He's done work in my heart that I know could have only been done in this season of waiting and this season of adoption.  I can't wait to reflect more on what the Lord has been doing, but for now I'm so grateful to get a chance to show you what it was like to bring our son home.  I've dreamed of this day for a long, long time and it was the sweetest day finally being able to share our son with our friends and family!

These are just a few of our people.  If everyone who has loved us, prayed for us, supported us, and celebrated with us showed up at our house... we would have had hundreds of people inside our little home.  We've been loved so, so well.  

I will never stop praising Jesus for the grace He has poured out on us.  We don't deserve Campbell.  We don't deserve any good thing.  But, the Lord so graciously gives and He gives in His own timing, for His own glory.  Jesus, be made famous by our family! 

Thank you Southern Snapshots Photography for capturing these memories for us!

He is the God who is Unchanging and Loving

Scriptures for you to look up:

  • Hebrews 13:8
  • Numbers 23:19
  • Isaiah 40:28
  • Psalm 90:2
  • 1 John 3:1
  • 1 John 4:9-10
  • Romans 5:8
  • Romans 8:39
  • Ephesians 2:4-5

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, yes, and forever.” Hebrews 13:8

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved)...” Ephesians 2:4-5

These are two attributes that I’m excited to talk about together. ALL of His attributes are connected and He cannot be one thing while not also being all the other.  But, I think there is a sweet connection between God being unchanging and God being loving that should be an encouragement to us today. 

God is incapable of changing.  He absolutely cannot change.  That is His nature.  He is constant, He is the same always.  In the midst of uncertainty and as I struggle with fear as we move forward with adoption, this truth is so impactful.  Nothing about our situation has surprised Him.  He has not changed a bit.  He is the same faithful God He’s always been.  Instead of focusing on every shift and change in my circumstances, I want to focus on the One who is always steady.  

What else is so great about our unchanging God?  His love for us is not dependent upon my circumstances or how much I’ve screwed up.  He is unchanging.  His love never fails.  I love the reminder that I haven’t done anything to deserve His love and that I will never be able to do anything to keep His love. I don’t have to earn my way into His loving arms.  Because of grace, I have a spot in His arms already. 

I love Ephesians 2:4-5 because it reminds us that we absolutely did not do one thing to earn God’s love.  It says that while we were still DEAD, because of God’s great love, we were made alive in Christ.  Not because we finally “behaved”.  Not because we got our life together.  Not because we finally figured out how to be perfect.  No, because of His great love we were made alive in Christ.  Sin doesn’t make us bad, it makes us dead.  We were hopeless without Jesus, unable to behave our way to heaven.  BUT GOD.  Being rich in mercy and abounding in love, saved us through grace.  

His love for us is not based upon our own merit, but solely based on who Jesus is.  How can we not celebrate that today?? The unchanging God loves us for all of eternity and we can rest in that love because of grace.  Praise you, Lord!

He is the God who is Holy

Scriptures for you to look up:

  • 1 Samuel 2:2
  • Isaiah 6:1-13
  • 2 Corinthians 7:1
  • I Peter 1:15-16

“... and one called out to another and said, ‘holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts.  The whole earth is full of His glory.” Isaiah 6:3

Here we are, back in the same passage in Isaiah!  I love how this one passage teaches us so much about God, and in turn, so much about ourselves.  I love how this passage challenges me to really see my sin fully when I look on Him fully.  Seeing Him should always lead me to repentance.  

He is the God who is holy.  He is set apart, pure, clean.  He is perfection.  Isaiah 6:3 and Revelation 4:8 both echo the same thing, day and night, forever and ever, angels surround His throne and call out “holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts.”  THEY NEVER CEASE.  For all of eternity His throne will be surrounded and He will be praised for His holiness.

As I’ve learned more about studying scripture, I’ve learned that anything that is repeated is important.  In this case, God is called “holy” three times.  No other attribute is repeated in this way.  His holiness is important!

I love that each of His attributes calls us to respond.  We cannot learn more about who He is without responding.  All throughout the New Testament we see the call to be holy as God is holy. We are to be set apart, different from the world because that’s what the holiness of God compels us to.  It’s my prayer that learning about each of these attributes will draw me closer to Jesus and repentant over sin.  His character calls us to respond. 

Response:

Ask the Lord to reveal areas of your life that are not set apart for Him.  Surrender your life, your hobbies, and your desires at His feet.  He is worthy of our surrender!

Sorry for the lack of a post yesterday, the day got away from me!  Tomorrow, we’ll be looking at two different attributes:  He is unchanging and He is loving!

He is the God who is Good

Scriptures for you to look up: 

Psalm 119:68

Psalm 31:19

Psalm 34:8

1 Timothy 4:4

Romans 2:4

Romans 8:28

James 1:17

 

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 "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

 He is the God who is good. 

I feel like there's often a misunderstanding of what it means for God to be good and what His goodness actually looks like in our lives. His goodness does not always mean easy days. It doesn't mean we are free from heartache. It doesn't mean that every situation works out perfectly. It doesn't mean that we get everything we want. 

Romans 8:28 is one of my favorite verses. The commentary from my ESV study bible sheds so much light on this often quoted verse.  "The 'good' in this context does not refer to earthly comfort but conformity to Christ, closer fellowship with God, bearing good fruit for the kingdom, and final glorification." Friends, this is rich stuff. God works all things out for His ultimate glory and for our sanctification. And THAT is the best "good" thing we could ever hope for. Do I desire for the Lord to give me an "easy" life free of trials or do I desire for Him to have His way in my life- even if that means heartbreak- for the sake of His kingdom? 

God is good. And God is about His glory and His kingdom. And He loves His children. He can take our broken situations and use them for good. We can trade ashes for beauty. We can experience sanctification through trials and we can be encouraged that every heartbreaking situation the Lord can use for His glory. This should give us so much hope! Even the hard days can be used for our good. 

Response: 

I love Romans 2:4 "or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and forbearance and patience not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?" The goodness and kindness of God should always lead us to repentance. We don't deserve the His goodness, yet He sent Jesus to be sin on our behalf so we can know the goodness of God intimately. Repent of sin and praise Him for His goodness!

 

 

He is the God who is Glorious

Scripture for you to look up: 

  • Isaiah 6:1-8 

 

 "In the year that King Uzziah died I saw the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up; and the train of his robe filled the temple. Above him stood the seraphim. Each had six wings: with two he covered his face, and with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. And one called to another and said:

 

“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts;

the whole earth is full of his glory!”

 

And the foundations of the thresholds shook at the voice of him who called, and the house was filled with smoke. And I said: “Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts!”

  Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a burning coal that he had taken with tongs from the altar. And he touched my mouth and said: “Behold, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away, and your sin atoned for.” And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” Then I said, “Here I am! Send me.” Isaiah 6:1-8

 

This passage is so rich.  From the holiness of God (we'll talk about that in a couple of days) to the mind-blowing thought that FOR ALL ETERNITY angels have stood around His throne singing "holy, holy, holy".  He is an awe-inspiring God.  One thing I love most about this passage is the reminder that every single thing on earth was created for His glory.  Every tree, every fish, every animal in the forest, every flower on a bush, every sunset, every blow of the wind... literally everything was created to reveal His glory.  His beauty.  His splendor.  The trees in their very existence glorify God.  Isn't that an incredible concept?  Just by being, they are pointing to the glory of God.  What a great reminder to keep my eyes open, keep my heart free of distractions, and recognize His glory that literally surrounds me. 

Another huge part of this passage for me is the end.  Isaiah has had this vision, He's seen the glory of God, He's seen angels singing around the throne.  What is His response?  He seems himself for who He is... sinful man.  Friends, it is impossible for us to come face to face with the glory of God and not be reminded of our sin at the same time.  We cannot fully see Him and not fully see ourselves at the same time.  Praise Jesus, it doesn't stop there.

A burning coal from the alter touches Isaiah's lips and God declares him forgiven.  OUR SINS CAN BE FORGIVEN.  Because of the grace of Jesus, we can be faced with our sin, cleansed, and forgiven. BUT IT DOESN'T STOP THERE!

What is Isaiah's response to being forgiven of sin?  "Send me, Lord, send me!" The grace of God transforms us and because of that transforming grace, we should walk in willful obedience.  Grace calls us to be obedient to what the Lord tells us to do. 

I'm loving this passage so much and I feel like there's much to reflect on.  I pray that today you'll read through this passage and think about the different responses we should have to it.  Repentance, praise over His forgiveness, and obedience because of grace. This is going to be a GOOD week of study, my friends!

 

Sunday Scripture Vol. 2

I'm really looking forward to reflecting on 5 more attributes of God with you this week!  I'm so grateful for how the Lord has used each of these attributes to remind me of who He is and who I am in light of that.  He becomes bigger, I become smaller.  Our verse to reflect on today is one that I've loved since I read it.  Enjoy!

If you would like to download and print this verse, click here!