"All those nights when you are crying out to the Father, begging Him to answer your prayer for a child, you are learning how to need Him. Because you will. Lean into that. Every time your friends tell you they are pregnant, deep in your heart you wonder why it can't be you. And you run to your Dad, to feel His big, safe arms wrap around you. This is how you will comfort. When you feel like you are the only one in the whole world who isn't a mommy, you remember the story of a woman named Hannah and the big prayers she prayed for her Samuel. And you'll pray those same prayers for your promised one..."
I would love if you would go read all of Jessica's post because it really is so good and she put into words so many thoughts and emotions and struggles that I've had. I don't have very many people in my personal life who know what it's like to wait for a baby month after month after month. I'll talk more about this in a future post, but I've had a really hard time with friendships this year due to my own bitterness, others' misunderstandings, and often a lack of grace on all sides. It's hard when people don't "get it". When you can't adequately put into words what it feels like to wait in the midst of a congregation of swollen bellies, babies on hips, and little feet running through the halls. By the grace of Jesus I've found about 3 women who really speak encouragement into my life and challenge me to seek Jesus in the hard things. Because I need that. I don't need someone to ignore my struggles, I don't need someone to just ask me on a Sunday morning how my week was. I need someone who isn't afraid of my mid-week meltdown. Who isn't afraid to know that some days all I think about is "why not me". Who isn't afraid to see my broken heart, and my messy life, and say this ins't all there is. I need friends who challenge me with words like Jessica. I need friends to help me climb on Papa's lap and surrender my fears and my dreams and my brokenness. I need more than, "Did you have a good week?" I need people to fearlessly walk into my mess and help me lift my arms to Jesus. And my guess is, you do too. Maybe you're a waiting mother struggling through each pregnancy announcement on Facebook. Maybe you're waiting on the husband you so desperately desire. Maybe you're a working Mama ready for the day you stay home or maybe you're at home with your babies and you're so tired and exhausted that you can't think straight. Maybe you're in the middle of marriage problems that no one knows about. Maybe your struggles are something that I could never even think up. I don't know. I don't know where you are, but I know you need people. You need someone to walk with you in the mess but not let you stay in the mess. You need someone to lead you to Jesus when your eyes might be too tired to search any longer.
I don't know what kind of mess you might be in right now, but can I encourage you to find someone to be open with? Find one person who you can pour your heart out to and trust that they will challenge you to continue to seek Jesus.
Maybe you're in a season of life that's not as challenging as others. Maybe you're having a hard time relating to the struggles of others. Ask the Lord to place someone on your heart that you can encourage. We need you. Maybe you walked in my shoes years ago. Please teach me how I love Jesus more through it. Use your unique story to serve.
To the waiting Mama this morning, He sees you.
Let's climb in His lap and fix our gaze on Him.