Contentment.
Caitlin had a really great post yesterday and my mind has been turning over this topic ever since. Obviously, we are not the only ones who struggle with being content. Some of you may choose not to talk about those less than pretty parts of yourselves, but I know that many people fight the battle of contentment like I do. I am utterly amazed by the contentment I see in some women's lives. How in the world did you get to be so content? Lately, I have struggled more and more with discontentment. I know that in today's society men and women are getting married earlier, having babies earlier, and just plain doing everything so fast. In the past two months, at least three girls I went to high school have had babies. THREE! I see facebook status after facebook status of young girls getting married, having babies, and entering into a different lifestyle. I feel as though I will be an old maid by the age of twenty-two if I have yet to get married and have a child. Am I insane? I can loudly hear my maternal clock ticking and I'm only twenty years old, for goodness sakes! As I see life changing for so many people around me, it's hard for me to stay content. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy. I know that it is certainly not time for me to get hitched or bring a little one into this world. I have a great family, a wonderful boyfriend, an awesome bible study group, and a big college to enjoy, but I still get the feeling of discontent. Am I alone?
Something I've begun to learn is that contentment isn't just a choice. Yes, you have to want to be content, but it doesn't just happen. I can make the decision today to be completely content with this part of my life, but tomorrow something might bring a twinge of dissatisfaction into my heart and before I know it, I'm back to my discontent self. Contentment can only come from one person. The Father. In order for me to become completely content in the "right now", I must look to Him.
I wish I had a pretty way to tie up this post, but I don't. I want to be content. I want to find my contentment in the only place that true contentment comes from, but I just don't know how.